Confusion on Christianity

Halifax, West Yorkshire is a predominantly white area with very few asian people. It’s where my sister and I grew up and spent most of our lives there. We were literally the only asian’s in the village and yet I never resented it, I accepted it and liked living there... a lot. Despite some restrictions, I felt a real sense of belonging within the community. Then just as I about to embark on my Gcse’s, my father decided to move to Bradford, where he had spent most of his life. Suddenly I found myself dropped into the middle of a very big asian community. Where everyone knows everyone else’s business, traditional dress was seen as a must for girls (even at school!) jeans were a no no and if you didn’t join in with the big debates (on religion, politics or how the west was slowly destroying the east) then you were seen as a bit weird.

As a British national, born in the united kingdom yet with an ethnic origin classed as Pakistani (where my parents descended from) I still found it incredibly hard to accept this new community. I didn’t get their mentality (and I still don’t most of time) and didn’t seem to share the same interests as the majority of my classmates. I may have looked the part but my accent was always a giveaway (mine being a broad Yorkshire accent and the rest class having a bradfordian accent).

I’m ashamed to say that I also didn’t know all that much about my religion. I mean I knew the basics but I hadn’t memorised parts of the Quran like some of the other people in my class had. I only ever learnt about Islam during R.E lessons at my school in Halifax and through my parents at special times of the year such as Ramadan. Ironically though I could recite the Lord’s prayer at the drop of a hat and still can. I read the bible during Friday morning assemblies, at my school and knew all the biblical stories, who all the characters were and what the moral of each story was. When going out to meet other family members, I used to like getting dressed up in fancy clothes, watching Bollywood movies and listening to asian music. I didn’t mind the culture, in fact I quite liked it and sometimes craved it as I wasn’t exposed to it as often.

But moving to Bradford and being totally surrounded by that same culture 24/7 felt rather strange. It’s like when I visit my extended family in Pakistan, I feel out of sorts there as well. However a good thing that came out of our move was that I learnt more about my religion, which was great. I mean I‘m not claiming that I know everything about Islam but I feel more comfortable as a muslim and knowing what my religion is about. Also I started University fairly soon after, which was great as it gave me a lot more freedom and I felt much more at ease. In terms of the culture, I eventually got used to it but that doesn’t mean I agree with it. Even now, when having discussions with other people, I still can’t get my head around how other people in the community think and why they say and do the things they do.

Having a dual personality can be a blessing and a curse. I think growing up in here in England, I feel I’m able to fit in better in society. Perhaps better than someone who wasn’t born here and so doesn’t get the english way of life. But then ultimately the colour of my skin will always make me stand out. At the same time, I feel I fit into the desi community as well but then again my natural curiosity, questioning the norm and not willing to accept everything at face value makes me stand out again. I feel a real sense of displacement sometimes. Where do I belong... the asian community or the english community?

One year on...

A whole year since Aisha left and we did all the traditional customs required, not sure what else there is left to do now, except pray for her. All I have is memories to hold onto. They say that time is a healer; so I wonder exactly how much time has to pass before those feelings of sadness start to fade away? If anyone has got any idea, then let me know. Answers on the back of a postcard please...

What do diabetes patients wish you knew?

Diabetes is a disease that affects the normal regulation of glucose in the body and occurs when the body produces very little or no insulin – a hormone that aids the breakdown of glucose. The molecules of glucose are broken down into smaller molecules of glycogen, which can be stored in the liver and can be used if the blood glucose drops again.

Diabetes is a unique disease as it requires the patient to take a lot more responsibility for their own treatment. Therefore in order to be treated successfully it is important that the patient has a good working relationship with their GP. But sometimes that doesn’t always happen. On the other hand, it’s also a good idea to become more educated about your condition and find your own support group that isn’t necessarily linked to your primary healthcare team.

My father actually suffers from diabetes and sometimes his medication doesn’t always agree with him. Therefore I’ve been reading a lot more about ways to naturally control your blood sugar levels as opposed to using medication. There is so much research on the disease – some of the work seems promising whilst some not so much. Sometimes it’s hard to make sense of it all, even if you do study science and so forth. During my search, I came across this blog by Amy Tenderich who is actually a very clued up patient and I found her posts very informative. Perhaps more patients should keep online blogs as sometimes patients may know something useful, that their doctors might not. Just a thought :)

Eid ul fitr

It’s the time of Eid-ul-fitr and I can’t believe how quickly this time has come around once again. Ah so many memories, some good, some bad.

Anyways Eid Mubarak to all.

Islam

Religion. I look around and find myself thinking that the very thing that is supposed to bind us together seems to push people further apart. With Islam being the second largest religion in the world, it has the potential to influence society today. If muslims could form an understanding amongst themselves, not for the purposes jihad or whatever else the extremists out there say but just for sake of peace and humanity, what religion is suppose to stand for, then how great would that be!

Looking around others religions seem very proud to follow their particular beliefs and yet with Muslims it doesn’t seem to shine so strong...
a) Christianity – With Christmas coming up, everyone seems to pull together and let bygones be bygones. The sense of togetherness that arises from such times of the years is great and truly illustrates the season of goodwill.
b) Judaism – surviving horrific events like the holocaust, this section of society found the strength to pull together and change that. The power and support that these guys have is something that should be admired and should be aspired to. Some of the most influential people in the world are Jewish.
c) Hinduism/ Sikhism – Many of my dad’s friends are sikh as well as hindu and we usually get invited to quite a few family weddings and religious occasions. I’m always impressed by the closeness of both these communities and how their traditional customs and culture are easily integrated with their religious beliefs.

Islam is still ever present in society (god knows it’s the media’s favourite topic these days), but it’s more like it’s just for show. The core values of Islam seem to have gotten lost somewhere and it’s perceived to be more about extremists and focusing on negative aspects brought about by a select few. So why is that I feel Islam doesn’t really tie us together as much as others religions seem to be? Am I being overly critical of my religion or is there something genuinely a miss here? Looking around the asian community, people would say that the desi community is alive and very much together. However in that instance I feel that people confuse religion with culture. I’m sure everyone fulfils the cultural requirements but what about the religious ones?

I’m not preaching and I’m not saying that I’m the perfect muslim... I’m probably far from it, lol. But the point I’m trying to make is that shouldn’t we doing more as muslims to bring our community together? Trying to explain the misconceptions about our religion rather than turning away or pretending that we’re not muslims. Take on active role in politics, look within ourselves to bring about change rather than blaming other people or circumstances. I know there are people out there making a difference but it’s like we need to pick up the pace as we seem to be lagging behind. I guess with other religions they all seem to have concentrated groups within select countries, whereas with Islam it seems to have no geographic boundaries. Maybe that’s one of the reason we can’t seem to join... we may be muslims but all have different cultural differences which perhaps stop us from uniting? Or perhaps I’m making stuff up in order to provide a logical explanation as to why we can’t even do the simplest thing and unite!

So yea that’s my thoughts for the day :) I’m gonna stop blathering now and get back to some real work :P

Dissection done. Err, hungry anyone?

If didn’t know already as part of your training on most medical courses, you will eventually come across some sort of dissection whether it is purely observation or actual participation. Despite all you’ve learnt you’re suddenly hit with the realisation with how fragile life really is. The image of a person, who was once full of energy, is now lying on a cold steel bench, the uninviting lab environment, the smells – you never forget your first time.

During research projects, I’ve stuck to a more clinical route in my research and so I’ve been assisting and actually carrying out dissections on my own a lot more. This may sound a little weird, but the more I do those procedures, the more comfortable I feel. I think eventually you learn to detach yourself from what you’re doing and just focus on the pure pathology. I learnt a lot from those experiences both personally and professionally. Currently my work is stressing me out a little – last night I dreamt that my tissue blocks for a particular study started talking to me. I need a time out, lol! Ooh something my friends and fellow colleagues recently learnt – latex gloves are not so suitable for handling preservation fluids. The fluid seeps through causing the various smells to linger for a long time on your hands. Thank god for nitrile gloves – much better option.

However there was one thing that disturbed me a little. Ok a lot. Quite often after completing a dissection, I would get extremely hungry. Gross right?! You’d think that doing a procedure like that would put me off eating for life, but it was the complete opposite. There I would be sitting at the table, eating my lunch as if it was completely normal. In actual fact, I felt terrible after every dissection! I’d often wonder what the hell was wrong with me, lol.

It was only till very recently, that one of supervisors explained that this was completely normal! I know what you are thinking, but it makes perfects sense. The preservatives used (usually neutral buffered formalin) contain appetite stimulants, thus the sudden hunger pangs. Who knew? Well… obviously my supervisor, duh! But at least now I don’t feel so bad and can go back to enjoying my meals without feeling incredibly guilty! Phew!

My DIY exploits

I arrived back in the UK on 13th August from my summer holidays, only to be greeted by the ever present rain and the longest traffic jam on the M62. Apparently the weather was fine the few weeks I was away (Sod’s law) but I’m pretty sure everyone’s lying about that, lol. Started work back in Harrogate the very next day, when what I really really needed was to sleep. Also arrived back in time to attend Faisal Chachu’s wedding so thank god I went shopping and had the foresight to buy some wedding outfits (phew!) :P Despite being severely jet lagged, attending work the very next day, a family wedding in the process and also quite ill, I still managed to fit in some DIY before my father got home. Yes, yes I know, I do love punishing myself!

I ripped out the old fitted wardrobe (with my dad's permission!) and re-wallpapered the room. Did I stop there? Ha ha, nope! I then proceeded to rip out the old carpet and replaced it with a newer carpet from the garage. Yea I know what you’re thinking, why did we have carpet rolls stored in our garage? My answer is ask my father :) Here’s the funny thing though... I didn’t have a clue about carpet fitting but that didn’t stop me and I carried on. Laying down the new carpet, I KNEW I hadn’t done it correctly, but rather than admitting defeat, a little voice in my head told me, "Don’t make any damaging cuts and just lay it down in the room and wait for dad to get back and help me". Plus I couldn’t bear to bring the old one back in as it had dead spiders and what not in it, eek!

So I moved most of my stuff back into my room and put my bed together so I would have somewhere to sleep at night, but the worst thing... my clothes were homeless for like a whole week! Ok I know how girly that sounds but it was just so sad as the massive wardrobe that I was inheriting from Aishi (lucky girl!) was only in the next room begging to be put back together again. Argh the agony! Ah well it all ended well... and my dad vowed never to leave me on my own again, lol. The pattern being I only attempt DIY when he’s not around. Hmmm, one of these days I shall have to prove him wrong me thinks, I am his daughter after all, hehe :)

What we found behind the fitted wardrobes... cobwebs and an array of err, colourful wallpaper patterns

Mum was annoyed at me for messing about with the camera... but then I made her crack a smile anyway

Dad & Billy back after their hols decided to help me out by laying down a new carpet in my room. As you can see Bilal took the word 'laying' as a direct order :P

Pakistan

A last minute trip to Pakistan, tickets are booked! I leave on 24th July and due back on the 13th August with my mother, whereas Bilal and dad get to stay until 6th September, soo not fair! This has been my shortest trip abroad ever; working people only get a limited number of holidays... my god how I miss my student days :P

I partly don’t feel like going this year as it’ll be my first time without Aisha and I don’t feel like leaving her behind. But at the same time I miss some of my family in Pakistan, my Khala, Iqbal bhai, Fari baji and all the new kids that have arrived since my last visit, which was a good 6 years ago. One of the special new arrivals is a little girl called Aisha, born on the 23rd October 2006. It’s like one Aisha left and another Aisha arrived; not that they’re interchangeable in any way, shape or form.

I’m also looking forward to the good weather as it has been raining non-stop so far. Ah that’s the British summer for you. And here I was thinking that global warming would give us milder winters and warmers summers :P So yea I’m hopefully off to sunnier climes this holiday season, but before that I need to tie up some loose ends at work and get some packing done. 2½ weeks to see all my various family members and get a decent amount of shopping done! Hmm it’s gonna be a busy couple of weeks...

Summer Holidays

Uff! Sunny weather is what I need... and rain is what I get. Also I didn't realise how badly Harrogate can get flooded! eek!!!
Potential trip plans are being made to go abroad if the weather doesn't change soon! Sunshine please! You have been warned!

Come on Mr Sunshine... where are you?

USA day

4th July - American independence day!

Reading

I’ve been reading a lot of books lately ranging from sci-fi and chit-lit novels to autobiographies and real life events. It’s probably still that mindset I have of constantly reading textbooks and literature related to my degree. Even though I’m on a break from uni, I still have the need to read something and improve my knowledge. I’ve found that I’ve become a regular borrower at the central library and we’ve even got a little book club going on at work, lol.

During uni, I’ve not had much time to read a lot of novels, but this time off has helped me re-discover how enjoyable it is just to be able to sit down and read a good book. Just the satisfaction you get from turning the pages and actually using your imagination to recreate the story in your mind. Personally I think it’s a much more satisfying experience than perhaps spending your entire free time sitting in front of your TV.

And yet more and more literature is being made available online. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for developing technology and by using online resources; we’re using less paper, saving the environment and so on. Yet the feeling of actually being able to hold a book and turn the pages, well personally I think it’s better than reading online. Also it’s definitely less of a strain on my eyes, lol. Maybe someone needs to invent an electronic book of some kind than can be folded and treated like a normal book, yet allowing different books can be uploaded thus saving precious resources. Any ideas?

White vans

White vans – everyone loves em’ don’t they? They definitely make my journeys more interesting, lol. Vans that try to run me off the road - always fun. They always have a number on the back asking “How am I driving?”, well not very well usually... you just tried to run me off the road. The funny slogans written on in the dirt always make me giggle. Some more funny than others, some are just plain rude.

The white van man himself can be an evil guy that tries to potentially kill you. Sleazy guys that make lewd comments/ offer sweets as you try to get from one end of the campus to another –sweets?! What am I, 5 years old? Or extremely lovely guys that let you pull out into the road and do karaoke in the driver’s seat oblivious to the world around them. The karaoke drivers are my favourite, lol :)

Iifa Weekend

The Iifa awards finally came to Yorkshire. Did I go? Of course not! But I managed to attend every other related event within the region, lol.

The charity cricket match at Headingly Stadium in Leeds, which I attended in the sweltering heat. It was a good event; combining my love of Cricket, Bollywood and fabulous weather. Took plenty of pictures and enjoyed the atmosphere immensely. Got to see quite a few stars; Saif ali Khan, Salman Khan, Jay Sean, err Shilpa Shetty etc. But who was I most excited about seeing; No, not Salman Khan one of my favourite actors... it was actually Nick Knowles – the guy from DIY SOS. Sad I know! Jay sean was stood right next to him but nope... Nick Knowles is what I saw, lol. I think my cousin Saba was in such shock that she almost lost the ability to speak, lol.

The dance show on in Bradford was also a good laugh and very entertaining. A good effort made by all involved and it clearly showed! The Mela at Roundhay park, Leeds, had plenty of fun rides, some good food and the rumour of Bollywood stars milling about. Did I go just to meet the stars I hear you cry? Perhaps to begin with but nope, I got distracted by the numerous stalls, (shopping is always safe bet to distract me) and I was having way too much fun on the fairground rides with Arooj, lol. The day of the actual awards, the event was watched on the big screen in the town centre, surrounded by most of my friends.

All in all I had a fab weekend; good weather, food, company and a good excuse to catch up family and friends. It was nice to see people united via the asian community, regardless of creed and colour. I’m not saying that Bollywood solves problems of racial equality but just that it was nice to see everyone having a good time in a fun and nicely organised regional event. Let’s hope there are more of these to come :)

The Apprentice 2007

Sir Alan Sugar with series 3 winner Simon Ambrose

The 3rd series of The Apprentice and still a big fan. This year’s winner was Simon Amstell, typical public school boy but hilariously sweet guy and was my favourite to win out of the ones that were left. Characters that stood out this year are Tre Azam who was similar to Syed Ahmed from last year, but less idiotic and much more business minded, although the dishonesty gene did rear its ugly head at the beginning of the series, which did not please Sir Alan.

Token asian girl Ghazal something (her surnames escapes me at the moment), didn’t show much business initiative just very out spoken, but perhaps the only key skill required in her business? Simon’s finals rival was Kristina from Harrogate, who was a single mother and also a very business savvy lady. However she also spent a lot of her time battling it out with the manipulative (and maybe evil) Katie. Another guy that constantly got attacked by Katie was Adam, though he did look a bit of a fool at times, he certainly didn’t deserve to be on the receiving end of Katie’s evil tongue. An interesting twist to this series was when Sir Alan was deciding on the two contestants for his final and it was between Simon, Kristina and Katie. Sir Alan actually picked Katie as one of the final two; only for her to turn around and refuse his offer! No one ever does that Sir Alan and it also begs the question whether she was really serious about the whole competition in the first place, when there were others that were more deserving in my opinion. Also as a little side note and a bit of a girly rant; I so didn’t like Katie’s (err eye-catching?) eye make-up or her love of pure white trouser suits in a sea of black coloured business suits. I know how that sounds but I feel like she was separating herself from the crowd though she achieved that through her deceiving nature and acidic tongue, which were more than sufficient.

I normally don’t bad mouth people, but Katie seemed to rile a lot of people this year and screwed over a lot of her fellow contestants. Not a nice thing to do, tut tut tut. All in all, I thoroughly enjoyed the tasks and the series was still as entertaining as ever. Looking forward to the 4th series!

New job

I got a new job working as a Pathologist as part of a clinical group based in Harrogate, North Yorkshire. Daunting to say the least, my first graduate job but the staff seem friendly enough and Harrogate is actually quite a picturesque place. It also helps that Abbey (from uni) already works there and it’s always nice to see a friendly face :) The only thing that slightly shocked me was the vast contrast between the towns. Going from the Leeds/Bradford area; which does have a fairly few asian people milling about, it has to be said, to the Harrogate area, which is predominantly white. Spotting an asian person is like spotting “Where’s Wally?” lol. Also the one hour drive to and from Harrogate kills me, especially in the morning. But thankfully car sharing with Abbey doesn’t make it so bad, I get to catch up on my sleep on the way there... obviously when Abbey is driving.

Britain is not a follower but a leader

So says Tony Blair... but it’s kinda hard for me to take him seriously when lately he spent a good few years, firmly seated in George Bush’s Lap :P

On a serious note though, Tony Blair; leader of the labour party and prime minister of the UK for a good decade or so. It will be sad to see him leave; partly due to the intense pressure he was placed under to resign and partly because the thing he will be most remembered for during his time will be the Iraq war.

Many people forget all the good things he did help to deliver;

• Vast improvements in the NHS,
• Reforms in the educational system (ok so I don’t love him for introducing top up fees for uni students, but I do see his point)
• Improving the economy

I guess he was not afraid to admit when he’s made a mistake, of which there have been many! And it also helps that he’s a charming man, in fact I think my high school sociology teacher once compared him to a second hand car salesman... “Tony Blair could sell you anything and you would believe him!”

In all honesty, it will be sad to see him go as it marks the end of an era, but here’s hoping he goes onto better things :)

Elections

Will they make a difference? I bloody well hope so.
Did I vote for the BNP... Hell no!
Will my dad still double check at least three times, that I didn’t vote for them when he gets home tonight? You betcha!

LMAO!

Bolton Abbey

Arranging days out in my family is like pulling teeth!!! Getting everyone’s agreement, the planning, getting them together, basically if it isn’t a wedding, birthday, Eid or someone’s funeral then it’s hard to get everyone together regularly.

Which is why all my cousins and I wanted a nice day out with the family. As children we regularly used to go on outings during the summer with the whole family and I mean the WHOLE family. I have vivid memories of my trips to theme parks such as Lightwater Valley, Alton Towers and American Adventure to name but a few.

Therefore this April we (Tyagee's, Saeed Mamoo's and my lot) finally got our act together and off we went to Bolton Abbey, which is a beautiful place in Shipley, West Yorkshire. Theme parks were deemed too tiring for our ageing parents :)

The sun was shining, had a lovely picnic packed and surrounded by my family. I think I can surely say that everyone had a lovely day and I hope there are many more to come, inshAllah.

Easter is all sweets and no Jesus

Whilst working away, we somehow ended up talking about Easter. Someone commented on how the actual message of Easter had got lost along the way and had been replaced with chocolate as that was more profitable in the modern world. I guess all religions are having a hard time trying to put their message across and explain to people what they stand for.

P.S. Haven’t posted a joke in a while so here’s one that sort of links to this post…

There were two prawns, James and Christian, swimming along the bottom of the ocean. James accidentally rubs up against an old lantern and whoosh, a genie appears and grants James two wishes.

After a moment's thought James decides that he wants to becomes a shark so as to gain the respect of all the creatures of the sea. Whoosh, James becomes a shark and swims off.

Two weeks later James is upset. All of his old friends are now afraid of him and his life is miserable. He decides to use his second wish, and he wishes to be a prawn once again. Whoosh.... Now a prawn once more, James swims away to look for his mate Christian.

When he arrives at Christian's house he knocks on the door and shouts out for Christian. "Go away", says Christian, "you're a shark and you'll just eat me".

"No I won't", shouts James, "I'm a prawn again Christian".

:P

Blog anniversary

Woohoo! It’s my Blog’s 1st year anniversary!!! I kept a blog for a whole year. Ok, ok so maybe I didn’t update it as regularly as I liked but I still managed to keep it going. That counts for something, right?! :)

Mother’s day

Mother’s day, emotional day to say the least. But what really struck me was at how quickly my little brother, Bilal, has grown up and I didn’t even realise it! Past years have seen more of the family attention diverted to Aisha, but not once did Bilal ever act up. Instead my baby bro, accepted the situation and actually became a great help by always staying cheerful and helpful, mashAllah.

As Billy get older, he’s becoming so much more aware of the world and gets especially excited at family holidays and occasions. So Mother’s day was a big thing for him. I got mum my gift as usual but Bilal wanted to make breakfast by himself (bless!) had a go at vacuuming the house and even went to extent of cleaning his own room and seriously cleaning Bilal’s room is just.... YUCK!

So as well as Mother’s day being a special day for mum, it also made me realise what a sweet little boy Billy can be :) I may not share with him the same level of understanding that I had with my other sibling, but I hope one day that will change, despite the age gap. The relationship I had with my sister is irreplaceable but I look forward to the day, where the big sister-baby brother thing we have at the moment, will be replaced with a more understanding relationship between Bilal and I, inshAllah.

Technical Dinner

A big fancy dinner to mark the end of the Bio2work training programme; it was a fabulous night. Again we had to present our team ideas and findings but I’m finding that I’m beginning to gain more confidence each time I’m forced to present, which can only be a good thing! Good food, good company, pictures were taken, prizes were won and rather fittingly I received a plaque inscribed with the words “Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” A firm believer in fate but slowly realising that to get ahead in this world, I need to make my own opportunities and be a bit more self confident; something which doesn’t come naturally to me. Here’s hoping that will change :)

In a way, I was glad that the training programme was coming to an end as it meant that I had successfully achieved my goal and I could move onto the next phase of my life. But at the same time I felt slightly sad as well as I would be leaving behind this new group of friends that I had made. It’s been a fun few months with a fun group of people (despite being scientists!) that have taken my mind off some of the not-so-happy events of the past year. I hope to keep in touch with all of them but realistically I know everyone drifts off along their own paths, which makes it harder to keep in touch with absolutely everyone. It got me thinking of all those people that I was close to at one point or another in my life, those that have drifted away over time and those that stayed by my side through thick and thin.

One feeling was recurrent as I relived all those memories; a feeling of delight. That I had met all those different people who I believe in some way or another all had a part to play in shaping me into the person I am today. Good or bad; I’m truly thankful for all those people who entered my life as I learnt something from each and every one of them, whether or not I realised it at the time is a different matter! Hmm... hindsight is such a wonderful thing isn’t it? :)

Lifts

Or elevators, whatever you what to call them. Designed to get you from one floor from the next without having to use the stairs. Perfect in rather tall buildings. However with this practicality comes an unseen set of rules and some embarrassing situations such as...

a) You’re the last person in the lift. Whilst everyone else is comfortably stood against the safety of the lift walls, you have to stand in the middle like some sort of social outcast.

b) You’re late for something and so you take the lift as it will be quicker and you won’t look a dishevelled mess when you arrive. So you enter the lift only to find that some fool has pressed the button for every floor thus it takes the lift twice as long to get to where you want to go.

c) Dodgy smells and sounds – you know what I mean!

d) The lift door opens to be confronted by someone making out/ having a domestic argument/ applying make-up/ getting dressed/ looks a bit demented. (Yep I’ve personally witnessed all the above) So do you get in or tactfully retreat and take the stairs?

e) Embarrassing ringtones! (mine went off whilst in a lift full of giggling school girls who then decided that I was their new best friend! lol) I won’t share with you what my ringtone was at the time :P

f) Your phone rings and it’s an important call do you...
i. Disconnect the phone call and risk upsetting the caller?
ii. Ignore the call and let everyone in the lift hear your ringtone (usually set at the highest volume) for the next minute or so?
iii. Take the call and let everyone in the lift listen in on your conversation?

g) You’re running for the lift and some kind soul holds the doors open for you. Naturally you feel obliged to run faster... only to get trapped between the closing doors (Ouch!) Now you have to stand with the very people that witnessed your crushing moment! Eek!

h) Similarly you see people running towards the lift so you either hold the doors open for them (and get exasperated sighs from the back of the lift) or let the doors close (and feel guilty for not helping the other person out).

i) My personal favourite... the lifts at uni have a female voice that informs us when the lift is overloaded (student are lazy!) and won’t move until someone steps out to reduce the load. Recently a friend of mine ran to the lift, barely making it in time only to be promptly informed by the lift lady that the lift was now overloaded. Never have I see my friend blush so much!

Feel free to add anymore, lol!

My Birthday

Argh, I’m old! Or getting there anyway, lol. Today of all days, I had a yucky cold and still had to go to the IPI for training. It was a lab day though so not all bad. I was very out of it otherwise I would have noticed the mass whispering going on around me... which later turned out to be a little surprise party, gifts from Liz and just general good fun which really cheered me up. Definitely had a lot of giggles today, especially when Urvi and Sarjil told me that I looked very similar to Shilpa Shetty. I’m pretty sure this is because she’s in the news quite a lot lately due to the big race row on Celeb Big Brother this year. Careful not to use the word “famous" as I don’t really think Shilpa has earned that tag yet? Famous for being a victim of a racist, hmm...

After getting home, my younger brother, Billy gave me a birthday present for the first time on his own, without any of Aisha’s or mum’s input. Guess there are gonna be a lot of firsts for me this year; my first birthday without Aisha for a start :( Billy got me a little necklace with the word “Sister” inscribed on it, which was sweet. I think he got to show me how he much he loves me; but it ended up making me cry and reminded me of what I’d lost over the past year. So yea the day got off to a shaky start but ended good. Feels fabulous to be reminded of how much everyone loves and cares for you. One of the things I love doing is reading through all the thoughtful messages, emails and cards that get sent. A big thank you to everyone for their good wishes and blessings. I may still be ill but feeling truly blessed! :)

Valentine’s day

Ah! The cynic in me says it is just another cheap money making gimmick in additions to the ones we already have... and I know many of my friends agree with this. However I don’t find that to be true, I mean sure to an extent, it IS another money making scheme. I’m sure Hallmark executives all have a look of sheer satisfaction as the hoards of people rush out to buy cards and the desired gifts that accompany a Valentine’s Day card. Looking around I usually find it’s the males species that rush around... most probably as they have forgotten to buy the necessary gifts in the 1st place but that’s another matter :)

But at the same time I find it extremely sweet that it gives people an opportunity to express their affection, love (whatever you want to call it) under the pretence of this day. I mean you should be able to do that whenever you please but I think Valentine’s Day gives some people the opportunity to make their feelings known without feeling too exposed to everyone else. Basically it’s always nice to hear that someone loves you :) right?

I spent most of my day at working at the IPI today and ended up giving a presentation of a potential business idea by my team. Those of you that know me know that presentations are exactly my most favourite thing to do! Nervousness seems to take over me and the ability to form coherent sentences seems to falter a little bit. But still I managed to get through it and as a treat in the evening, the whole of the Bio2work group when to whetherspoons (local bar/eatery) in town to relax. Just to explain the Bio2work groups consists of science graduates, mostly girls for some reason and are quite a friendly bunch. It also includes one of my good friends, Elizabeth, who I met like on the first day of uni and we just seemed to click ever since :) Although Nigerian in descent and a devout Christian, she shares similar views to mine on life, family and her knowledge of asian culture is quite impressive. Though much of this knowledge has been gleaned from Bollywood no less, of which she’s a big fan, lol. Anyway all this makes probably make her an honorary asian gal and she’s such a laugh to be around.

Anyway back to my main point about Valentine’s Day, Elizabeth has been in a relationship ever since the 1st day she met him at uni (awww, so sweet!). Although I’m sure they express their love for each other every day she still felt the need to buy into gimmick that is valentine’s day, when she really needn’t have, what with her being a in a stable and loving relationship, mashAllah. When I asked her why so, Liz just stopped and smiled at me... “Saima, when it happens to you, you’ll know what I mean.” And with that she hugged me and went back to wrapping her boyfriend’s present, a bright red iPod nano... If that doesn’t signify love, I don’t know what does! :P

I then went away to read my horoscope for fun, as you do...
“The office hottie is making goo-goo eyes at you. Then your barista gives you a free coffee just for being cute. Well, aren't you just a lucky so-and-so? Everything's coming up roses for you, so stop and smell 'em.”

Not being a firm believer; still it got me thinking... what exactly should I be waiting for? How will I know it’s the real thing? Will there be a little fanfare to let me know of his arrival? A blot from the blue? Hmm feeling intrigued by this; any guidance would be greatly appreciated people! :)

Actions speak louder than words

A few weeks ago I met an old uni friend and chatted about some recent events that had taken place within our circle of friends, in the presence of a mutual acquaintance. During our catch up, my uni friend made a comment about the situation we were discussing and turned away at the same time. He then went onto answer a call on his mobile phone and drifted away from where we were stood. As I had known him a while, I think I had grown used to Mohammad’s behaviour, though God knows I pointed it out to him on many occasions. However I later found out that our mutual acquaintance found this to be extremely rude and very inappropriate.

However it was this same mutual acquaintance, actually we’ll call her Mary for the now as I’m tired of writing mutual acquaintance repeatedly!. So yes one day uh... Mary and I were in a lift when a third person, a male who I also knew, entered the lift and commented on how lovely we both looked today (we both had presentations to give at uni). As I knew the guy, I replied with my usual trademark sarcasm whilst Mary I’m assuming didn’t know how to respond and didn’t speak but rewarded the man with a small smile and turned away. Later during lunch time, we were sat having lunch with a group of other scientists which were mostly girls and someone commented on how Mary had spotted an huge error in one of the machines in the lab to which Mary grinned a huge grin and explained how she came about spotting the error. During this period the same group of people commented on a written article that I had submitted to which I replied with a thank you nod and a small appreciative smile.

A couple of days later I met the same man and the group of female scientists in a lift (ironically most of my life changing stuff happens in lifts, but that’s another story!). We all sat down for an afternoon break and discussed the presentations from the previous day. It turns out that these people found Mary to be a rude person just the same way Mary had found Mohammad to be rude. I felt slightly confused and enquired as to why Mary was targeted. What social faux pas had she committed?! Their explanations were as follows:

The lift – Upon receiving compliments on our appearances, Mary did not reply which made the man think she was already aware of how good she looked and he was beneath her. Therefore his comment had no effect on her and she was perceived to be a bit of a snob. I, on the other hand, had made a joke about it, which made the man feel that I had acknowledged his compliment and so he felt I was friendlier than Mary and more fun to be around.
Lunchtime – After receiving praise about out work, Mary had gone onto explain how she had spotted the mistake and this made the group think that she was arrogant and showing off her superiority in front of the others. Whilst in comparison, I had accepted the praise by nodding my head and then saying no more about it. Therefore I was seen to be more modest than Mary and again more socially accepted.

This explanation left me confused as a simple reversal of responses from Mary and I had brought about such different reactions in different situations. It also raised a lot of questions.
1) Comparisons - had I not been in those places for comparative purposes i.e. Mary on her own; would those people still have formed the same opinion about Mary regardless of my presence? But because I was present they had someone to gauge her responses with and so it somehow became a contest on social etiquette.
2) Genders – was the difference in gender influential in those situations. For example men usually trying to impress women by telling them how good they look and when not listened to, they feel rejected and see the girl as the wrong party. Equally women like to be better than other woman so if another girl accepts a comment quite readily then she is seen as a threat perhaps and again the wrong party.

Ironically I came out quite well in both these scenarios. But I wonder why. With the man, I was relaxed as he was a decent guy, a friend I was comfortable around. I don’t see myself as particularly good looking and so usually compliments about my appearance I respond to in a jokey manner as I don’t believe them to be true. Similarly with the group of girls, who I knew quite well, I didn’t know how to react to the comments on my work, even if it was an outstanding piece of work. Those of you that know me also know that I am never sure how to react to comments on my work. Criticism I can deal with, I take it on board and assess whether those changes need to be made; praise my work however and I falter, the most I ever manage is a smile and a nod.

But it got me thinking, perhaps Mary was the opposite, maybe she didn’t think she was pretty and so didn’t know how to take a compliment and preferred to stay quiet rather than make fun of it like I did. In terms of intellect, perhaps she’s more confident and outgoing in her ability whereas I am more shy and reserved. I do know one thing though; coming from a Punjabi family perhaps social etiquette doesn’t matter much but out in the world, it definitely has its place and it can be confusing. It’s not just your words than have an effect, it’s your body language as well!

Top Gear

I love watching Top Gear on a Sunday evening before evil Monday rolls around again. Did I start watching it because I have an utter fascination for cars or is it because the programme gives me a chance to chill out and have a bit of a giggle at their silly antics? Both of those things I think... and because I secretly fancied Richard Hammond. So there you are, after years of merciless teasing from friends (you know who you are) and family (namely my cousin sister’s Saba and Sara), I have finally confessed. Not entirely sure how that came about, but it did :P

Top Gear presenter: Richard Hammond (aka the hamster, lol)

Back in September 2006 when Richard Hammond crashed, I was genuinely upset and he was in a bad way. It awful to think that he might not make it through and that he might leave behind his wife and his two cute and extremely young daughters. The papers constantly reported on his progress and I understood what his family went through as I went through a similar ordeal with my family a month later. I wished him a speedy recovery and I was very glad that he pulled through. And as things got back to normal, I eagerly awaited his return back on my TV screen.

Today Top Gear returned to its usual Sunday night spot... and a fabulous return show for Richard Hammond. Descending down some aeroplane stairs, surrounded by dancing girls and fireworks being lit, I was glad he was back. I also find it strange that many girls now fancy the man after his crash... the same people that teased me for my crush before. However, I now find that I watch Top Gear more for its actual car info and funny antics rather than just watching Hammond. I guess I just don’t like sharing, lol.

Top Gear: The team - Richard Hammond, Jeremy Clarkson, James May and The Stig

Hijab

Ok, so I may not wear a hijab myself but I still can’t believe the stupidity or prejudice that some people come out with they see a girl with a hijab or a naqab on. Quite a few of my friends do wear the hijab and I’m always amazed at the kind of things people ask them. I know for one of my friends, Nazia, the decision to wear hijab during high school was not an easy one and she struggled with it but in the end, it all worked out. But it can’t be easy for them sometimes, I mean seriously, why do people not think before they speak anymore?

Hijabi’s have can have some trying times as well...

• Sat on the train to Manchester and watched a hijabi trying to put on her earphones so she could listen to her iPod. She finally managed to put them on after a struggle and looked up to see me looking at her. I smiled, she smiled and shrugged her shoulders as if to say what can you do? We sat and chatted for the rest of the train journey. Her battle with her earphones was in vain :)
• In high school, watching my friend Nazia trying to push loose strands of hair back under her hijab, only to make a mess of it after 15 minutes of trying. Eventually it lead to her having to excuse herself from classes and go to the ladies bathroom to re-adjust her hijab. A repeat performance at least once a day :) (But then again, if you having a bad hair day, no one would ever know!)
• People stop and stare when they see a naqabi walking about in broad daylight. (I admit I’ve done this a few times as I often wonder what the girl looks like underneath, bad I know. But then I’ve made quite a few friends this way, lol. Not recommended for guys to do this though ;)
• A hijabi playing some kind of sport always makes people stop and stare. Whether it be in my ji-jitsu classes, playing a basketball/netball match at uni or even paintballing :)

Ok so not so serious and then there are the questions. Some are quite innocent but when we hear them they just sound so... well funny. Examples are from when I was working in Harrogate, at university or just out shopping, even in Bradford…

• "So do have hair under your hijab or do have to have it like shaved off?" What? Why would u shave it off? Of course they have hair under their hijabs
• "So do you have to pass the appropriate levels so you can wear the ninja style one as oppose to the standard one?" lol. ok this was a genuine question and she was actually very sweet, bless her! The term ninja was used to refer to the full naqab. The answer is no you don’t have to undertake any um “tests” and whether you wear you wear the naqab or the hijab is a personal thing
• "How do you wash your hair with your hijab on? I suppose you don’t have to as it doesn’t get dirty?" lol, um no, you still wash your hair and yea your allowed to take your hijab off when you’re having a shower ;)
• "Don’t you get bored of wearing the same scarf thing for the rest of your life?" I think she was referring to the actual cloth used and not the concept of wearing the hijab forever. Women usually have more than one head scarf :)
• "So do most girls wear it from birth back home then?" Yes because in other countries all newborn female babies get issued with tiny little headscarves as soon as they leave the hospital (sarcasm), lol. No honestly they're just babies. The choice to wear a hijab/naqab is up to the individual.
• "So do you get like sacrificed by your family if you say no to wearing the hijab?" I couldn’t actually answer this at the time as I was rolling around on the floor with laughter. But um no... you don’t get um “sacrificed”, it’s personal choice and I think the girl asking the question got a bit confused about what kinda religion we were followers of :)

Can’t think of anymore at the moment but feel free to add to the list if you’ve come across any funny ones :)

Islamic New Year

The Islamic new year begins. It’s a shame it gets overshadowed by the actual new year, lol!

Aisha’s Birthday

Aisha’s 20th birthday… or what would have been her 20th birthday. It feels so weird getting together to celebrate someone’s birthday but the person for who the get-together was organised wasn’t there. We spent the day reciting passages of the holy Quran and made Duaa’s for Aisha’s soul to rest in peace. Mum keep saying that it didn’t go as she had intended it to but then I don’t really think anything would have been good enough for mum today. I mean that in the sense that the best thing for mum and for all us, would have been for Aisha to still be with us. However seen as that isn’t possible right now, the main point of today was to bless Aisha’s soul and pray for her, which we did and I’m glad we did it.

It just makes me think back to all the times Aisha and I celebrated our birthday together as kids. Aisha would always have a small cake and a few presents on her actual birthday in January and in February when it was my turn for my birthday party she would get a second round of presents and another cake, the lucky so and so! :) I remember mum would always buy us identical outfits for our parties, which at the time I thought was really naff, as any other child would think, but as time has gone on I’m glad my mum did that for us. It was like some special club that only Aishi and I were part of, that special bond that can’t ever be replaced by anything else and it was marked by … well the pair of us being dressed in big fluffy meringue dresses, lol.

In the past, I regularly had these moments of reflection and as time went on I wanted to recreate those past moments... minus the embarrassing outfits :) And so I think we planned to have a small family get-together for Aisha’s 16th but at the time, I was doing my A levels, Saba had her GCSE’s and basically everyone seemed to be busy. I had this same thought in my second year of uni when I was looking back over our childhood pictures and decided it would be fun to celebrate Aisha’s 18th that year. Even though Aisha’s probably didn’t understand what turning 18 meant to other teenagers (or she might have done, we’ll never know), it would still be nice to make a big fuss over her and it would be nice for Aisha to see everyone she knows, all in one room! I was so determined to make a success of it this time round, no excuses! Some how we managed to organise a massive party for Aishi’s 18th. The house spick and span, the cake ready to be collected, the food ready for the big day and me frantically to revise as much as I could for my exams at the end of that semester!

Again in amongst the hubbub, like family tradition in previous years, Aisha managed to have a small birthday party before the actual celebration. Actually that’s a lie, it was a big party at the sixth form and the whole school got together in the main hall to sing Aisha Happy Birthday and celebrate with her. It was her final year at school and you could tell by her eyes that she was having a fantastic time, mashAllah. The night before Aisha’s 18th, mum and I stayed up till like 4am making kebabs and samosas (it’s the asian way, lol). I was so tired I eventually gave in and went to bed - exam revision and housework is a sure fire way to completely tire yourself out!

In our family, good occasions always seem to be eclipsed by bad news and sure enough shortly after I said good night to Aisha, who was actually waking up round about that time and Bilal and went to bed, Mum got a phone call from Pakistan to say that my Dada abu (Dad’s dad) had passed away from a heart attack. Aisha’s celebrations for her 18th were stopped short and instead we mourned the death of my grandfather. Perhaps that was a sign of things to come. The year after on her 19th, Aisha had a severe pneumonia and it was my final year exams so mum decided it would be best not to plan a big party this year and instead her 21st was planned to be a major celebration. Sadly we never even got up to her 20th with Aisha and it just makes me regret all those missed opportunities. I mean we did love her and spend time with her but maybe she was waiting for that one big celebration like old times. I love and miss her so much that’s it’s hard to describe. Aisha will always have my love and blessings with her and I hope I’ll always have her's with me, inshAllah.

Bilal’s Birthday

Bilal’s 8th birthday! May god bless him with success and happiness everyday of his life (iA). It’s funny how small things can make little kids so happy so I’m guessing it’s just as we get older that we become all bitter and twisted like certain individuals that I know... sorry, dangerously leaning towards a ranting session there! lol. So what's new with me? Ah yes, I've started the Bio2work graduate training programme at the Institute of Pharmaceutical Innovation (IPI) at the University of Bradford. The training lasts till end of March and it’s a chance to update my scientific skills whilst I look for a new job. It’s a shame I had to decline my last job at the Bradford Royal Infirmary (BRI) as a pathologist as I quite liked the place. But after October I couldn’t bear to work there what with all we had been through with Aisha. But I guess everything happens for a reason and plus being at the IPI, I’m still close to these rest of my girls that are graduating this summer after taking a placement year out.

I felt like taking a break from studying this year what with all that has happened these past few months. Plus I’ve been studying non-stop since my academic life began and so this year I plan to work and earn money before going back into med school next year (iA). I guess it’s better to just take some time out and relax… a bit like a gap year except I’m taking it on the other side of my degree. Well, people have always said that I like to do things differently :)

Abbey started her new job at the beginning of January so congrats to her and Dina and Marya were suppose to join the IPI but decided not to. The group of people at the IPI seem like a nice bunch but it was nice to see a friendly face at the IPI. Elizabeth (Liz) had decided to join and even though it’s only the second day I’m glad I have someone to talk to. Liz has decided to apply for med school this year and she’s doing the training to prevent boredom I guess and oh yea go on and find a decent job, lol.

Well I hope these next three months go smoothly and this group of people at the IPI don’t turn out to be awful :( Starting to have flashbacks of the BBC series “The Apprentice!” (eek!)

New Year

A new year and a new start hopefully. Some people will definitely be missed for the rest of our lives and some things will never be the same again but I’m coming round to idea of life is what we make it. I guess I’ll still have those days where I feel like lashing out anyone and everyone and other days where I’ll be a bit more optimistic about the future. In fact, I’m starting to feel a little bit like a schizophrenic. I know from my human physiology lectures, that signs of schizophrenia start to show at the age of 20. All the signs are there, maybe I’m just a slow starter? Hmm, should I be worried? :P