Aisha’s 20th birthday… or what would have been her 20th birthday. It feels so weird getting together to celebrate someone’s birthday but the person for who the get-together was organised wasn’t there. We spent the day reciting passages of the holy Quran and made Duaa’s for Aisha’s soul to rest in peace. Mum keep saying that it didn’t go as she had intended it to but then I don’t really think anything would have been good enough for mum today. I mean that in the sense that the best thing for mum and for all us, would have been for Aisha to still be with us. However seen as that isn’t possible right now, the main point of today was to bless Aisha’s soul and pray for her, which we did and I’m glad we did it.
It just makes me think back to all the times Aisha and I celebrated our birthday together as kids. Aisha would always have a small cake and a few presents on her actual birthday in January and in February when it was my turn for my birthday party she would get a second round of presents and another cake, the lucky so and so! :) I remember mum would always buy us identical outfits for our parties, which at the time I thought was really naff, as any other child would think, but as time has gone on I’m glad my mum did that for us. It was like some special club that only Aishi and I were part of, that special bond that can’t ever be replaced by anything else and it was marked by … well the pair of us being dressed in big fluffy meringue dresses, lol.
In the past, I regularly had these moments of reflection and as time went on I wanted to recreate those past moments... minus the embarrassing outfits :) And so I think we planned to have a small family get-together for Aisha’s 16th but at the time, I was doing my A levels, Saba had her GCSE’s and basically everyone seemed to be busy. I had this same thought in my second year of uni when I was looking back over our childhood pictures and decided it would be fun to celebrate Aisha’s 18th that year. Even though Aisha’s probably didn’t understand what turning 18 meant to other teenagers (or she might have done, we’ll never know), it would still be nice to make a big fuss over her and it would be nice for Aisha to see everyone she knows, all in one room! I was so determined to make a success of it this time round, no excuses! Some how we managed to organise a massive party for Aishi’s 18th. The house spick and span, the cake ready to be collected, the food ready for the big day and me frantically to revise as much as I could for my exams at the end of that semester!
Again in amongst the hubbub, like family tradition in previous years, Aisha managed to have a small birthday party before the actual celebration. Actually that’s a lie, it was a big party at the sixth form and the whole school got together in the main hall to sing Aisha Happy Birthday and celebrate with her. It was her final year at school and you could tell by her eyes that she was having a fantastic time, mashAllah. The night before Aisha’s 18th, mum and I stayed up till like 4am making kebabs and samosas (it’s the asian way, lol). I was so tired I eventually gave in and went to bed - exam revision and housework is a sure fire way to completely tire yourself out!
In our family, good occasions always seem to be eclipsed by bad news and sure enough shortly after I said good night to Aisha, who was actually waking up round about that time and Bilal and went to bed, Mum got a phone call from Pakistan to say that my Dada abu (Dad’s dad) had passed away from a heart attack. Aisha’s celebrations for her 18th were stopped short and instead we mourned the death of my grandfather. Perhaps that was a sign of things to come. The year after on her 19th, Aisha had a severe pneumonia and it was my final year exams so mum decided it would be best not to plan a big party this year and instead her 21st was planned to be a major celebration. Sadly we never even got up to her 20th with Aisha and it just makes me regret all those missed opportunities. I mean we did love her and spend time with her but maybe she was waiting for that one big celebration like old times. I love and miss her so much that’s it’s hard to describe. Aisha will always have my love and blessings with her and I hope I’ll always have her's with me, inshAllah.
It just makes me think back to all the times Aisha and I celebrated our birthday together as kids. Aisha would always have a small cake and a few presents on her actual birthday in January and in February when it was my turn for my birthday party she would get a second round of presents and another cake, the lucky so and so! :) I remember mum would always buy us identical outfits for our parties, which at the time I thought was really naff, as any other child would think, but as time has gone on I’m glad my mum did that for us. It was like some special club that only Aishi and I were part of, that special bond that can’t ever be replaced by anything else and it was marked by … well the pair of us being dressed in big fluffy meringue dresses, lol.
In the past, I regularly had these moments of reflection and as time went on I wanted to recreate those past moments... minus the embarrassing outfits :) And so I think we planned to have a small family get-together for Aisha’s 16th but at the time, I was doing my A levels, Saba had her GCSE’s and basically everyone seemed to be busy. I had this same thought in my second year of uni when I was looking back over our childhood pictures and decided it would be fun to celebrate Aisha’s 18th that year. Even though Aisha’s probably didn’t understand what turning 18 meant to other teenagers (or she might have done, we’ll never know), it would still be nice to make a big fuss over her and it would be nice for Aisha to see everyone she knows, all in one room! I was so determined to make a success of it this time round, no excuses! Some how we managed to organise a massive party for Aishi’s 18th. The house spick and span, the cake ready to be collected, the food ready for the big day and me frantically to revise as much as I could for my exams at the end of that semester!
Again in amongst the hubbub, like family tradition in previous years, Aisha managed to have a small birthday party before the actual celebration. Actually that’s a lie, it was a big party at the sixth form and the whole school got together in the main hall to sing Aisha Happy Birthday and celebrate with her. It was her final year at school and you could tell by her eyes that she was having a fantastic time, mashAllah. The night before Aisha’s 18th, mum and I stayed up till like 4am making kebabs and samosas (it’s the asian way, lol). I was so tired I eventually gave in and went to bed - exam revision and housework is a sure fire way to completely tire yourself out!
In our family, good occasions always seem to be eclipsed by bad news and sure enough shortly after I said good night to Aisha, who was actually waking up round about that time and Bilal and went to bed, Mum got a phone call from Pakistan to say that my Dada abu (Dad’s dad) had passed away from a heart attack. Aisha’s celebrations for her 18th were stopped short and instead we mourned the death of my grandfather. Perhaps that was a sign of things to come. The year after on her 19th, Aisha had a severe pneumonia and it was my final year exams so mum decided it would be best not to plan a big party this year and instead her 21st was planned to be a major celebration. Sadly we never even got up to her 20th with Aisha and it just makes me regret all those missed opportunities. I mean we did love her and spend time with her but maybe she was waiting for that one big celebration like old times. I love and miss her so much that’s it’s hard to describe. Aisha will always have my love and blessings with her and I hope I’ll always have her's with me, inshAllah.
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I'm sure she knows how much you all love her deep down
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