Lifts

Or elevators, whatever you what to call them. Designed to get you from one floor from the next without having to use the stairs. Perfect in rather tall buildings. However with this practicality comes an unseen set of rules and some embarrassing situations such as...

a) You’re the last person in the lift. Whilst everyone else is comfortably stood against the safety of the lift walls, you have to stand in the middle like some sort of social outcast.

b) You’re late for something and so you take the lift as it will be quicker and you won’t look a dishevelled mess when you arrive. So you enter the lift only to find that some fool has pressed the button for every floor thus it takes the lift twice as long to get to where you want to go.

c) Dodgy smells and sounds – you know what I mean!

d) The lift door opens to be confronted by someone making out/ having a domestic argument/ applying make-up/ getting dressed/ looks a bit demented. (Yep I’ve personally witnessed all the above) So do you get in or tactfully retreat and take the stairs?

e) Embarrassing ringtones! (mine went off whilst in a lift full of giggling school girls who then decided that I was their new best friend! lol) I won’t share with you what my ringtone was at the time :P

f) Your phone rings and it’s an important call do you...
i. Disconnect the phone call and risk upsetting the caller?
ii. Ignore the call and let everyone in the lift hear your ringtone (usually set at the highest volume) for the next minute or so?
iii. Take the call and let everyone in the lift listen in on your conversation?

g) You’re running for the lift and some kind soul holds the doors open for you. Naturally you feel obliged to run faster... only to get trapped between the closing doors (Ouch!) Now you have to stand with the very people that witnessed your crushing moment! Eek!

h) Similarly you see people running towards the lift so you either hold the doors open for them (and get exasperated sighs from the back of the lift) or let the doors close (and feel guilty for not helping the other person out).

i) My personal favourite... the lifts at uni have a female voice that informs us when the lift is overloaded (student are lazy!) and won’t move until someone steps out to reduce the load. Recently a friend of mine ran to the lift, barely making it in time only to be promptly informed by the lift lady that the lift was now overloaded. Never have I see my friend blush so much!

Feel free to add anymore, lol!