A recent article I was reading described how the mid life crisis may be a common thing for many people but now it seems that it is coming to us earlier, as more and more people are experiencing what is known as a quarter life crisis. It is described as feelings of failure and a sense of loss over their exuberant youth, commonly experienced by women in their mid twenties, following the major changes of adolescence.
And I totally understand what they mean. I mean I haven’t had a full blown crisis… yet. But sometimes I do have those thoughts from time to time, very fleetingly might I add. I know you may be thinking that that sounds ridiculous as I’m still in my early twenties and still have another 2 or so years to go before I even hit my mid twenties. But a fair few of my friends, who have already reached that age of 25 and above, do have these moments on a regular basis. I sit and listen to them tell me their worries and let me tell you, it sounds quite scary! Nothing actually changes physically, but it is more a state of mind. One day you think life is great and the next day you wake up and think, “Oh my god, what have I got to show for it?” Quoting the article I was reading, it is as if someone has adjusted the pair of (rose-tinted) glasses you were wearing and now nothing seems to fit anymore. You feel like a failure in your mind. In a mid life crisis, people look back and mourn the loss of their youth or regret the opportunities that they didn’t take up. Now research shows that women (average age between 25 – 35) are starting to have this point of reflection much earlier on in their lives. Apparently it’s very common and I accept that, but somehow how it still feels a bit strange. I mean with a mid life crisis I understand it, you’ve lived about half of your life span therefore you have less time. Also physically you may not be at the level as you were in your youth and so this may hinder you in what you want to get done. It’s a sense of loss and I understand that. But in your 20’s and 30’s, if you do have those feeling, what’s stopping you from going out there and getting things done? You still have the majority of your life ahead of you and numerous opportunities.
The article suggests that it might be the change in society and the media play which play a huge part in influencing your thoughts and society nowadays places great emphasis on women having a great career, a good income, a perfect body, lasting friendships, a life partner, married, a nice house and hopefully children… all by the time they are 35. Phew! I’m tired just reading that list. It’s like a mental checklist and I’ll be honest, I’m already ticking off the things I’ve done and re- prioritising what’s left on the list with regards to how it fits into my life. I understand how it must feel to not have the mental image you have of your life match up with the reality of your life. To put it mildly, it is pretty de-motivating. The choices that you’ve made may make you feel unsure of future decisions that you need to make and it can be pretty daunting. In all honesty, I think that balancing that mental checklist can be pretty stressful for even the most accomplished woman. So how is it that some people seem to cope better than others? Perhaps they’ve mastered the art of being able to step back and to shut out all those messages that we get thrust upon us by society. It may sound a bit hippy-ish, but if you just take a moment to think what it is that YOU want from life rather than what others expect… well, life will seem a lot simpler. Taking the time to find out what is right for you and not the rest of the crowd - a change of career in later life, a guy that's different from your normal type, the not so size zero body – being different from the norm is not necessarily a bad thing. It’s what suits you and your lifestyle and personally I think our individuality should be celebrated. Who knows, the changes that you make might help you to uncover something great for your future. By shedding those old mental images, you may be happier for it. Perhaps you’ll realise it wasn’t what you really wanted at all in the first place.
I suppose the thing is to look at what you’ve done so far as an achievement and be proud of that rather looking at what you haven't done so far. Be proud of the foundation that you've built and hopefully everything else will fall into place eventually. You’ll be back on the right track… whatever the right track may be for you. So if you feel like you’re heading towards the crisis zone, just take the time to chill out and take stock of what’s really important to you :)
And I totally understand what they mean. I mean I haven’t had a full blown crisis… yet. But sometimes I do have those thoughts from time to time, very fleetingly might I add. I know you may be thinking that that sounds ridiculous as I’m still in my early twenties and still have another 2 or so years to go before I even hit my mid twenties. But a fair few of my friends, who have already reached that age of 25 and above, do have these moments on a regular basis. I sit and listen to them tell me their worries and let me tell you, it sounds quite scary! Nothing actually changes physically, but it is more a state of mind. One day you think life is great and the next day you wake up and think, “Oh my god, what have I got to show for it?” Quoting the article I was reading, it is as if someone has adjusted the pair of (rose-tinted) glasses you were wearing and now nothing seems to fit anymore. You feel like a failure in your mind. In a mid life crisis, people look back and mourn the loss of their youth or regret the opportunities that they didn’t take up. Now research shows that women (average age between 25 – 35) are starting to have this point of reflection much earlier on in their lives. Apparently it’s very common and I accept that, but somehow how it still feels a bit strange. I mean with a mid life crisis I understand it, you’ve lived about half of your life span therefore you have less time. Also physically you may not be at the level as you were in your youth and so this may hinder you in what you want to get done. It’s a sense of loss and I understand that. But in your 20’s and 30’s, if you do have those feeling, what’s stopping you from going out there and getting things done? You still have the majority of your life ahead of you and numerous opportunities.
The article suggests that it might be the change in society and the media play which play a huge part in influencing your thoughts and society nowadays places great emphasis on women having a great career, a good income, a perfect body, lasting friendships, a life partner, married, a nice house and hopefully children… all by the time they are 35. Phew! I’m tired just reading that list. It’s like a mental checklist and I’ll be honest, I’m already ticking off the things I’ve done and re- prioritising what’s left on the list with regards to how it fits into my life. I understand how it must feel to not have the mental image you have of your life match up with the reality of your life. To put it mildly, it is pretty de-motivating. The choices that you’ve made may make you feel unsure of future decisions that you need to make and it can be pretty daunting. In all honesty, I think that balancing that mental checklist can be pretty stressful for even the most accomplished woman. So how is it that some people seem to cope better than others? Perhaps they’ve mastered the art of being able to step back and to shut out all those messages that we get thrust upon us by society. It may sound a bit hippy-ish, but if you just take a moment to think what it is that YOU want from life rather than what others expect… well, life will seem a lot simpler. Taking the time to find out what is right for you and not the rest of the crowd - a change of career in later life, a guy that's different from your normal type, the not so size zero body – being different from the norm is not necessarily a bad thing. It’s what suits you and your lifestyle and personally I think our individuality should be celebrated. Who knows, the changes that you make might help you to uncover something great for your future. By shedding those old mental images, you may be happier for it. Perhaps you’ll realise it wasn’t what you really wanted at all in the first place.
I suppose the thing is to look at what you’ve done so far as an achievement and be proud of that rather looking at what you haven't done so far. Be proud of the foundation that you've built and hopefully everything else will fall into place eventually. You’ll be back on the right track… whatever the right track may be for you. So if you feel like you’re heading towards the crisis zone, just take the time to chill out and take stock of what’s really important to you :)
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lol. I feel like I'm having one of those on most days :(
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