My Dad

All my life I have watched my dad work hard in order to provide for his family and not just for his immediate family i.e. his wife and children, but also his brothers and sisters to help them get established and stand on their own two feet.

The start of our relationship is best described by a story that mum tells me of the moment I was born. Dad was outside the ward, waiting for the news (he’s a bit of a wimp what with hospitals and all) and was overjoyed when he learnt that his first child was a little girl. After seeing my mother and I, he went out and shared mitaai out to all his friends and family to celebrate my birth. His chosen sweet was ladoo’s and upon receiving the sweets, his friends congratulated him on the birth of his son. When my dad corrected them and informed them that in fact he had a little daughter, most of them were taken aback and asked why he was so happy, it was only a girl after all. To which my dad replied, regardless of whether he had a boy or girl, his offspring would make him proud and he didn’t care if he had a boy or not. That the great thing about my dad, he sticks up for me when I least expect it.

Prior to my birth, Dad had chosen Shakil for a boy and was undecided on a girl’s name. Mum suggested Maria as she liked the sound of that (Guys!!! I could have been a Maria!!!) but dad pulled a face and was adamant that it should begin with an S to match his name and he wanted people to know he was proud. He looked at me and said ‘Saima’ and it clicked. When Aisha was born, again mitaai was shared and again people asked why he was so happy. Man, stereotypical asian people! Can I just point this out this quote...

“Whoever takes care of two girls until they reach adulthood - he and I will come (together) on the Day of Resurrection - and he interlaced his fingers (meaning in Paradise).” (Reported by Muslim)

"He who raises two daughters until their puberty will be with me in Paradise like this", and he symbolized the proximity by showing two of his fingers with a slight gap between them." (Muslim)

Our childhood was a happy one. We were number one in dad’s world and he would always make time for us. He always took us out and about with him but he would also make at least one special trip each year – sort of like an annual family outing. Now that we’re older, times and circumstances have changed and in the same way our relationship has also matured.

Some funny things about my dad... My father reckons he was a bit of heart throb in his younger years and to some extent still thinks he is one. Whenever we receive an invitation to a close family member’s wedding, without fail dad will always ask whether there is a suitable lady in the new family that is willing to get married to him. Of course we all know he’s having a laugh but when we were children, my sister and I always used to get into an argument with dad ordering him to never leave mum and make him promise and double promise, lol. My Dad still tries to flirt when he’s given the chance (often to the embarrassment of his children) and says people love it and flirt back with him (of which I have never seen any evidence). With regards to dress sense, my dad tends to stick to his usual colours and doesn’t like deviating from them. However this has now changed a little since I now usually accompany dad when he goes clothes shopping and get to have more of say in what he buys for himself. This brings me to one of my dad’s funny quirks. Every so often, my dad actually takes my advice but doesn’t like to acknowledge it outright. Sometimes the advice is taken on face value and sometimes it is eventually heeded but in a roundabout way. But the important point is that I’m treated like an equal by my dad and that is a major thing for both of us.

My father loves to sing as loud as he can and make up random rhymes in amongst the singing. Often these do not make any sense but I don’t think he cares to be honest, I think he just likes making himself heard. Also Aisha totally loves it when dad sings and I have no idea why, lol! From time to time dad uses me as a sounding board to discuss things that he doesn’t want to share with mum or anyone else straight away. This initially felt a bit strange but I do like that when my dad needs someone to confide, I am considered a suitable candidate... and this makes me feel good. It’s strange that even as we grow up, we still look towards our parents for approval and validation. My relationship with my dad… it has its ups and downs but at the end of the day he is my father and he helped bring me into this world and I love him dearly. You’re probably wondering why I am telling you all this? Well, today was my dad’s birthday and despite our ups and downs, I do indeed love my father dearly and pray that he leads a long life in which he is happy and healthy always (iA). Love you daddy :)