Partners

Digging through some old stuff and I found a letter (no we didn’t use email then ;) lol) from one of my good friends and a dear sister; Ammara.

Just re- reading her letter brings back so many memories and makes me realise how much I miss not having her around. We were literally glued at the hip as kids and we were partners in crime, lol. What made it even easier was that she got on so well my little sister and had no problems with Aishi hanging around with us. The three of us got on well mashAllah and I remember our mums used to dress us in identical outfits, lol. I was equally fond of her younger brothers Moeed (or Abdul as Aishi called him) and Muneeb and have many vivid memories of the things we all used to get up to.

Anyhow I found a few extracts from the stuff that Ammara sent me a while ago and just wanted to share them with everybody else. Also a backup in case anything should happen to the original paper copies...

• “The more civil and kind a muslim is to his wife, the more perfect in faith he is”
• “She has the perfect liberty to choose her own husband. ‘It is true that liberty is precious – so precious that is must be rationed’ – “
• “Unlike other religions, which regarded women as being possessed on inherent sin and wickedness and men as being possessed of inherent virtue and nobility, Islam regards men and women as being of the same essence created from a single soul. That single soul that will return to Allah as one
• “A good woman, by marrying a man, helps him keep to the path of rectitude in his life. Women are the beautiful half of men, let them deny it or not, they know they cannot live without our care and guidance.
  Your wives are your garment. And you are garment for them”

And a final extract, which is my favourite and I can relate to (Sorry, slightly longer than the others...)

“...A woman’s urge to be independent is up to her but not to exceed out of her limits. A woman to stand on her own two feet is a proud and exhilarating moment to be cherished, as we obtain our education we become more experienced in new developing world today. For we all know the great saying from Malcom X. ‘Education is our passport to the future, for tomorrow belongs to the people who prepare for it today...’
In society today, it is becoming increasingly difficult to choose between the street or the religion we are brought up with. Especially in western countries, muslim girls are torn at school, at home and outside, where they are consistently changing from different roles to the next. They are forced to fit in and sometimes the outcome can become severe. So an easier outlook and approach is needed. If each and every one of us is brought up with a purpose and we are continually taught our purpose, the day we feel inadequate doing wrong is the day we realise our true meaning. The true meaning of ourselves, after all we are human beings, neither one of us are perfect but unique, it is our uniqueness that lets us adapt at different times in our lives to the reality of the moment. We are all searching for ourselves a lot of the times, some of us feel confident enough to find love and some wait for it to knock on the door, sometimes this door is not stable enough to withhold the pressure... and we break. This is when we remember Allah, like I said we need an event to bring us back to the reality of the moment – otherwise we cases to understand the significance of etiquette and modesty in our religion... we slowly recognise ourselves and then our womanhood is complete.”

There are loads more, but this post is getting rather long :P

Though I may not see Ammara very regularly, I do feel I can rely on her certain issues. Although she’s only a couple of years older than me, I have trust in her not to get too heavy on the Islamic aspect and just give me sound advice, which makes a nice change. So I guess this post is to say...

Thank you Ammara for being a “very together” baji, a wonderful person and for being a part of my life. Love you always :)

Trust

Definition: assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something; one in which confidence is placed.

I think trust has taken quite a beating in the world at the moment. Whether it’s in situations regarding religion, politics, economics, even basic humanity... trust seems to be absent. I guess it is justified to some extent as bad things have happened but then again if no one makes an effort to regain that trust again... well where are we all going to end up?

Thinking back on my life, who have I personally really and truly trusted? In my younger years; I would say it was basically anyone in my life at that time, I guess I was very trusting as a child. During my teenage years, I still had trust in my parents, some teachers/mentors, my best best best friend during those particular years (seriously we’ve all had those moments! :P), still a large proportion of the community but not on the same scale as when I was a child. Now in my early twenties, that circle of trust has closed in further (though I am constantly led to believe otherwise, lol) to close family and friends and reliable colleagues and mentors. Someone who I thought I always had faith in regardless of the circumstances was God. But I realised that even that trust had also faltered a little when I was dealing with Aisha’s situation a few years ago.

Spending time with my family, I realised there was a big difference between ages, which reinforced my notion of age Vs trust. The younger members of the family i.e. infants and so forth had so much trust in the other people to look after them, make them happy, feed and clothe them etc. Whilst the elder members were not so trusting, even on the smallest things; “Are you sure the heating is at the right temperature? Is there sugar in this tea? This isn’t the right way to do such and such!”, lol. Ok so I’m taking the mickey there a little... :)

But really why is it that as we get older, we learn to trust less and less? It’s like there is a negative correlation between the older we get against the level of trust we have. Compared to a small child, who puts their trust in everyone, does society trust less because they're coloured by the experiences they’ve had or do we naturally get more cautious as time goes by? Do we simply see ourselves as superior compared to other fellow human beings and that no one can do it better than us, so why bother trusting in the first place. What is it that stops us from putting our faith in other people? Anyone got any ideas?

Desi Weddings

We’ve all been there! And I have had more than my fair share of weddings to attend this summer... so much so that I’m now confused about who married who :P I actually like weddings as it’s nice to see a couple being united in front of their loved ones, promising to spend their lives together through the good and the bad. It’s also a chance for the girls to get dressed up as no one is in danger of looking over the top at a wedding and also time to have a good catch up with family members that you haven’t seen for a while.

However at the same time; these weddings scenarios also serve a much more sinister purpose. Ok so it doesn’t happen so much at my own close family weddings; or maybe it does and I have just been extremely naive! But where else would you be able to gather all the unwed, eligible desi singles in one area making it easier for the older members of the community to search for the perfect life partner for their son/daughter/niece/nephew/grandchild. You find yourself retelling every auntie/uncle what you’re up to these days, what level your educated to, how much you earn... seriously you might as well hand out your CV; it is so much easier.

Making conversation is potentially dangerous as I observed at a friend’s wedding. Girls WILL comment on your outfit, no matter how nice you may be. The elder generation plus most married couples WILL try and set up with what they think is the perfect person for you. Making polite conversation with anyone (especially someone of the opposite sex), WILL get the rumour mill started. It may even lead to related people mentally planning your wedding in their heads, whilst all you've done is exchange pleasantries and discussed the weather!

I would like to point out that my mother, father and brother were present at these weddings and it was particularly amusing for my mother. After getting after flustered by all these unwritten rules, I sat down to admire the beautiful table decorations, can’t get into trouble for that right? Wrong! I got cornered by the bride’s mother... “Saima beta, why aren’t you mingling with the other guests, you’re supposed to be the bride’s best friend! Come on get up and help me out, jaan” and with that auntie smiled and deposited me back into the throng of people in the main hall (eek!)

At the end of the night, my friend asked me had I enjoyed the wedding and I said I had truly enjoyed the occasion and gained an education as well, to which she laughed. She said it was my responsibility to go and warn the others out there, lol. So here I am... spreading the word! :P

I killed my car!!!

Sadness :(

Waah!!! Wednesday 11th June 2008; I still can’t believe it, I killed my car! Still a bit shocked as to how it all happened but mostly I’m heartbroken. Ok so it wasn’t a Ferrari or anything like that. But it was my first ever car, my baby, always reliable. And then I killed it. I’m having serious guilt issues. Definitely not helped by my father constantly reminding how good a car it was! And it was indeed!

I loved the fact that it was big enough to fit all my friends/ family members/ whoever I was chauffeuring comfortably and yet small enough to fit into tight parking spaces. It NEVER broke down, I loved the colour, I kept it clean. Basically I loved it and then it left me. Such a sad end! Collecting my belongings from my car was an experience and not something I want to do again. The picture I've posted doesn’t fully describe the damage I caused but it’s a start. My mum and other family constantly remind me how lucky I am that no one else was involved in the accident and that I survived without a scratch on me. Ok that last one is a bit of a lie... I had quite a few cuts and scratches, lost of lovely looking bruises over my body (most were in a seatbelt shaped pattern, thank god I was wearing one!), stiff neck, a sore and angry looking shoulder (where the blood vessels had burst) and a lovely swollen knee that I had smashed against the dashboard on the moment of impact. The point is I’m alive and I’ve seen people much worse than me being treated at the hospital after various RTA’s. I’m extremely thankful that no one else is involved and it definitely taught me a lesson or two. You live and you learn :)

I’ve spent the last two weeks off sick from work, as hobbling (due to my dodgy knee) doesn’t really fit in with my daily routine at work. I also haven’t driven for two weeks, partly as I don’t have a car and partly as I have such horrible memories of my last trip. Family keep pushing me to get driving as soon as possible or the fear will begin to build and hold me back. I will get round to it... just not right now. On the bright side, I received my new Sony laptop that I ordered a few weeks ago, which is great since I’m holed up at home at the moment. Not sure if it’s a fair trade for my car though, lol. P.S. If anyone feels the need to buy me a new car, please don’t hesitate. I like silver cars best, preferably a four door :P

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

My friends think I have obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). I think I have OCD. Do you think I have OCD?

1) My textbooks are arranged in a specific order. I can tell when someone has moved something around and can’t rest until it’s returned to its’ “rightful” place. I’ve even arranged my little brother’s bookshelf according to height order!
2) My clothes are folded in a certain way and my shoes, even my jewellery are arranged in an order that only I know. If anything ever gets moved I know about, lol. Basically everything in my room has its’ place.
3) Errors in spelling, grammar and punctuation annoy me… I usually end up correcting my own work but refrain from correcting others as I fear that I may offend them.
4) My lecture notes, documents etc are organized in proper files, according to date and subject matter. Usually write rough notes in lectures and then neatly re –write them for easy referencing.
5) When working on my laptop, the programs have to be opened in a particular order and all the icons are in parallel lines. It bugs me until I correct it. Also if I delete something, I can’t leave it in my recycle bin/ email trash can for long, it has to be cleared, lol.
6) Been nicknamed Monica by quite a few people, mostly friends and family. I can’t stand clutter and won’t rest until everything is in its’ proper place. Everything in each room in my house has its’ place… whether anyone else knows about it or not is another matter!
7) Toothpaste tubes, shampoo bottles etc… I can’t stand it the gooey mess around the caps/ bottles.
8) Recycling old magazines/ newspapers have to be put neatly in piles (in size order) and then placed carefully into the recycle bin.
9) Before starting to cook, the kitchen has to be clean with everything in order i.e. no dishes in the sink or bottles/jars out of place. The dishes have to be done in a certain order i.e. glasses first, plates next - in size order, utensils follow and last are the big pots and pans. Also I have to clean the kitchen before I go to bed.
10) Getting up in the morning and going to sleep, I follow a certain order on how I do things i.e. applying make up, how I make my bed etc. Just a force of habit.
11) Before going to bed I have to check all the doors and windows… even though my mum or dad will probably have done this before me.
12) Can’t sleep unless the curtains are closed properly… I don’t like the dark.
13) Upon opening a packet of crisps or some other snack, I will always eat the small broken one’s first and leave the big ones for my little brother, mother or whoever is around.
14) Hate being unprepared. I have a first aid kit in the back of my car… just in case.
15) Good manners – still write thank you notes/emails and feel really really bad if I forget to reply to someone.
16) Using public bathrooms is something I avoid, but when I do use em’, I have to use tissue to open the door etc.

Think I need help? lol. Please feel free to share you OCD tendencies… hopefully I am not alone!

The Apprentice 2008

Sir Alan Sugar with series 4 winner Lee McQueen

The 4th series of the apprentice. Yes I admit it... I’m obsessed! :P

So yes this year’s winner was Lee McQueen.... “that’s what I’m tawkin about!” - his catchphrase throughout the whole series. Lovable idiot from this series was Raef Bjayou - actually to be fair he wasn’t an idiot at all and was quite business saavy but everyone just seemed to find him hilariously funny. The actual idiot was Michael, apparently a Jewish guy but he couldn’t tell you the difference between a kosher and a halal chicken (a requirement on one of the tasks – the scavenger hunt in Morocco).

The asian girl this year was Sara, who did show some good business acumen but fell victim to group bullying and eventually got fired. Simon (the army man) was a genuinely a nice guy but again a victim of bullying and this year’s crazy person was Lucinda, who always stood out from the crowd with her erm... colourful dress sense. Evil girls this year were both Jennie’s, must be a common thing and the vain guy was Alex from Bolton; yes I’ll admit I fancied him also! Claire was the serious professional business woman and proved to be a serious contestant for Lee in the final. Despite being a bit of a loud mouth, she seemed to have a similar business style to Ruth Badger from series two of the apprentice.

Regardless of having a disastrous job interview and getting caught telling lies on his CV; I’m glad Lee went onto to win the series as I felt he was the most deserving out of the group and appreciative of the opportunity he was being given. I wish Lee the best of luck in his new job!

Diabetes and your vision

Our vision I think is something that we take for granted and we just naturally assume that it will always be there. Could you just imagine if one day you woke up and couldn’t see anything? How terrifying would that be?! I wouldn’t be able to do everyday things like driving, reading, cooking, some I could manage but with major alterations and restrictions. My point is that our sight is utterly vital in our lives and we should treat it with respect and care for it.

Glaucoma is a group of eye diseases that result in loss of sight and even though it is more common in people over the age of 50, it can occur in younger individuals.

The resulting loss of vision occurs when the optic nerve, which relays images from the retina (the light sensitive tissue that lines the back of the eye) to the brain, is damaged. It is the second most common cause of blindness according to the World Health Organisation (WHO), the first most common cause being cataracts (according to the 2002 estimates).

The reason it is so prevalent is that many people do not realise that they have a problem with their vision and therefore don’t seek any treatment. This is why regular eye checkups are essential and in a small minority of people, despite receiving the appropriate treatment, some people are still not able to fully recover which is a cause for concern.

Current treatment for glaucoma involve issuing eye drops (usually chlromephenicaol) which help prevent the build up of fluid and so in effect stopping any damage from occurring to the optic nerve. With this method of treatment, the cornea (a transparent flap that covers certain components of eye i.e. iris, pupil, etc) represents a huge challenge as the drugs have to be able to penetrate the cornea and for this to happen the molecules have to be of a particular size or chemical composition. However this may be about to change...

In the University of Central Florida, a student was testing cerium oxide nanoparticles (nanoceria) to evaluate their efficiency as a catalyst to be used in oven cleaning fluid. During the course of the experiments, the student thought it would be interesting to apply the use of nanoparticles in a medical setting – random, I know.

The University of Oklahoma undertook initial tests for toxicity, which were then followed by animal studies, after which researchers deemed that nanoceria could be used in the effective transportation of drugs – specifically within the human eye.

Unlike eye drops, nanoceria are able to penetrate the cornea safely and effectively. The combination of nanoceria with hcAII enzyme blockers (which stop the hcAII enzymes from producing fluid) would help to prevent fluid build up and damage to the optic nerve. The combination of the two components would mean that drugs could be delivered effectively to the target site without disrupting any of the surrounding areas.

So nanoceria from an oven cleaning catalyst to an effective drug transportation facilitator molecule. It’s funny how science begins in one area and ends up linking to something entirely different.

Sleeping pill may rouse coma patients

I recently read an article in New Scientist on Zolpidem, a drug primarily used to treat insomnia. In 2000, Ralf Clauss and his research group accidently discovered that the drug temporarily restored partial consciousness and suggested that it could be used to restart activity within dormant brain cells. They began drug trials on three patients who had been in a permanent vegetative state – have regular functions but not detectable awareness - for about three years. They were given daily doses of Zolpidem for up to 6 years and were assessed using the Glasgow Coma Scale - there are 15 points on the scale. Generally 8 points or less indicates a severe brain injury whilst 13 points or more is considered a mild brain injury.

It’s suggested that Zolpidem works by activating GABA receptors in brain and so reawakening dormant brain cells. All three patients in the study showed an improvement via an increase in points on the Glasgow scale, however experts do point out that the patients in the study may not have been in a true vegetative state to begin with – a misdiagnosis. Further misdiagnosis cases are explained in paper 2, whilst paper 1 describes the full results of the Zolpidem drug trial.

Paper 1 – Clauss R, Wally N. Drug induced arousal from the permanent vegetative state. Neuro Rehabilitation. 2006. 21(1): pages 23 – 28.

Paper 2 – Andrews K, Murphy L, Mundy R, Littlewood Clare. Misdiagnosis of the vegetative state: retrospective study in a rehabilitation unit. British Medical Journal. 1996. 31: pages 13 – 16.

Despite some limitations, the study results do look promising. The next step would be to use larger patient groups and see whether the results produced are of any statistical significance. I’ve seen quite a few people eventually lose loved ones after waiting and praying that the individual will awaken from their current comatose state – very few actually do. So fingers crossed that this trial will yield some promising results.