My Sister's Keeper

My younger cousin sister Sara is going to Edinburgh for a year to do her uni placement and as I write this she is probably up in Edinburgh checking out her accommodation for the following year. I’m in two minds about the coming year as it’ll be weird having her so far away but at the same time I’m glad she’s doing something that she really wants to do. We decided to have a girly night out on Friday and so Saaiba, Sara, Saba and I went out to watch a movie and have dinner together. Personally I felt that “My Sister’s Keeper” was a really good movie and I did actually enjoy it despite the fact that I cried almost entirely throughout the movie. And I wasn’t alone as I can always count on Saba to be crying along with me, even Sara on this occasion. Actually thinking back the whole cinema was nearly in tears and after the movie a fair few people did head for the rest rooms to sort out their tear streaked faces. Most people except Saaiba that is… well there’s always one isn’t there!

We headed to Nando’s for dinner and continued our usual conversation and banter whilst we ate. As we didn’t want to go home just yet, we then went to Pizza Hut for dessert. Upon our arrival we were greeted by the news that Pizza Hut had run out of pizza. Yes that’s right – Pizza Hut was out of pizza! Ok fine, maybe they had a busy night and besides we were just there for dessert. But the look on Saaiba was face was just too funny to ever forget...” What do you mean you’ve run out of pizza?” and then a little while later this was followed by “My god, why don’t they just name themselves Pasta Hut instead?” – the laughter began and well, I guess you just had to be there. All in all I enjoyed our night out and I hope it was a good send off for Sara as well.

The movie however had a bigger impact on me than I thought. I still had some of the scenes replaying in my mind throughout the night and even today. I don’t’ want to spoil the premise of the movie but it’s about a girl who has cancer and the effect it has on her family, specifically her younger brother and sister. Although the plot didn’t exactly match my experience, the words that were spoken between the two sisters really struck a chord with me. The dialogue between them was near enough identical to the words I had said to my sister during her last few days. The only difference being was that our roles were reversed and it was my little sister who was leaving and not me, the eldest daughter. The most poignant image of the movie for me was the night before the girl dies and both her younger brother and sister kiss and hug her and apologise for not being able to fulfil her wishes whilst she in return tells them that it’s not their fault.

It reminded me of my last night with my sister – mum and dad took a little break from being at Aisha’s bedside, after our last visitor of evening, Imran bhai left to go home. Whilst Bilal and I were sat beside her, Aisha opened her eyes for a little while and I remember holding her hand whilst Billy clambered onto her bed to give her a kiss. Being so young, Bilal didn’t quite understand the situation and I remember him telling Aisha to wake up and come home as he didn’t like being in the hospital anymore. After he had settled down, I remember just looking into Aishi’s eyes and seeing how scared she was led to an uncontrollable flood of tears from me. I think a part of me knew what was coming, yet I didn't want to acknowledge it as that would make it real and I really didn't want it to be true. I asked her to forgive me for anything that I may have said or done to upset her now and in the past. I told her how much I loved her, how she was the best sister I could have asked for and how sorry I was for not making the most of the time we had to together. I remembered during our childhood; how Aisha always used to say to me that we’ll always go together everywhere, no matter what. Why couldn’t the same apply to the here and now? I told her save me a space and to wait me for me; that this journey was another one that we’d make together as well, just as we had done before many times.

Unfortunately that wasn’t the case this time around and watching the movie brought back a flood of memories. I don’t think those kind of moments ever leave you but with Eid fast approaching as well as Aisha’s anniversary, those scenes replay in my mind fairly frequently and I can recall every detail in those last few moments we siblings shared together. I guess that’s part and parcel of life, certain people may not physically be around you anymore but their memories never leave you and I for one am glad that Aisha is still around me in one way or another.