The month of fasting (Ramzan) has started and I’m in two minds about the whole thing. I may not be overly religious or a perfect muslim by some people’s standards, yet the feeling of this month doesn’t seem to pass anyone by. The build up to it, the actual month and the after-effects seems to draw everyone closer together and you can’t help but get drawn in. This feeling is very different from the remaining 11 months of the year and I believe it is a good type of feeling to have.
From a personal point of view, I welcome the change in pace this month brings. For this month alone, everything else takes a bit of a back seat and the main focus of most of your time is to remember your creator, doing good deeds and disciplining yourself. It is a bit of juggling act what with school, university, work and other daily duties but it is rewarding. Being born and raised in England, I’ve never had the opportunity to experience the month of fasting in say a muslim country such as Pakistan or Saudi Arabia but I’m guessing the normal routine of daily life completely changes in those places to accommodate the fasting month. Everything is made easier for the fasting masses so they don’t have to make alternative plans and can just get on with the task at hand. I’d like to experience that someday; not having to juggle everyday stuff just so I can fit in a bit time reflecting on my faith. I’m ashamed to say that in my day to day life, I hardly have time to sit down and read passages of the Quran or pray the full 5 prayers (I usually manage 4 out of 5). Perhaps I don’t try hard enough and so it is important for me to not get caught up in the same old excuses during Ramzan.
Conversely these past few years have brought a shade of unhappiness to this month that I previously enjoyed so much. I still enjoy this time but I am also somewhat saddened because as it draws closer it reminds me of the losses that I have endured during this period in previous years. No matter how hard I try and push things into a corner of my mind, I can never forget how I lost my sister. That whole month spent praying for her recovery, that unfortunate Eid morning and the events that followed after will forever be imprinted in my memory. Losing uncle Mirza Sahib a year later during that same month was also distressing for me as I had lost another major influence in my life. Following Aisha’s departure, this man (as well as many others) had spent hours advising me not to give up on my life ambitions and actively encouraged me to go back to finish my education. When I went back to university, uncle was the first one to congratulate me on getting my scholarship and there was a sense of genuine pride in his eyes. He was such an avid supporter of my career, always full of enthusiasm and I could always count on him for some inspiring words of wisdom whenever I felt down and depressed.
I learnt so much from both these people; Aisha taught me about how hard life can be and it is what you make it; whether you choose to cheerful (like she was) or depressed about it is up to you. Uncle taught me that even if life doesn’t work out exactly how you planned it to, it doesn’t mean you should just give up and not try to find your way around it. There are so many things that I want to write about at this moment in time, but I just can’t seem to compose myself and find the right words to convey how I’m feeling. For now, I shall take my leave.
Love and blessings to all - Ramzan Mubarak.