A second chance

As it was my birthday, I was recently sat socialising with a group of good friends. We were chatting away as usual, discussing various topics and every so often some would ask a question or two and we'd go round the group and give our responses. One the girls came up with a question that really stuck in my mind. She asked;

“In your life up to now, think of all the things you’ve done, places you’ve been and people you’ve come across. Now if you could go back in time and change something, anything at all, what would it be, why and how would you go about changing the final outcome?”

To be honest, we didn't expect her to come up with such a thought provoking question, lol :P A simple and straightforward question and soon the group became silent for a moment for two, as we gave the question some serious thought. So round we went the circle of friends, giving our responses and I thought about all those moments in my life. The decisions and mistakes I had made; family matters, friends I had made, my chosen career path, people I met, so many things I had done, so many things to think about. Thinking about it, I could have listed a number of things at that moment that I would have loved to do differently if I had the chance. It eventually got to my turn and I remember saying something about Aishi as that was what occupied my mind lately. I think everyone expected that response from me and were understanding about my reply. You see over the years it’s this group of friends, as well as my family, that have kept me going and I’ve shared quite a large chunk of my life with them. Therefore I found it easy to give them such an answer and not have to worry about what they think as I don’t have a problem being myself around these guys :)

But the question stuck in my mind and I thought about it some more over the next few days. It made me go off on a tangent and wonder about the bigger questions... do the little choices in life affect the final outcome or will you still arrive at that point in life regardless of the decisions you make? On the surface of it all, there are many things I would like to change... one the major things was to have Aisha in my life once more. But I realise that wasn’t something that was really in my control to begin with, it’s more Allah’s doing than mine. I was once told by someone, not much older than me actually, that Allah only puts you through what he thinks you can handle. Basically the crap that you have to deal with is your fair share and while it may look like everyone around you seems to have it much easier than you, it’s just not true.

The way I see it is that the good, the bad whatever has happened over the years has all contributed to shaping me into the person I am today. There have been some tough choices but hopefully some valuable lessons as well which have helped me to mature (I hope). I’m fairly happy with the choices I’ve made, a few regrets but I guess it’s just human nature to want more. I’m not saying I’m perfect as I don’t believe anyone is, but all that I have said and done, all that has happened, happened for a reason. So there you have it; my outlook on the universe – those choices however big or small have all helped to bring me to point in my life where I stand today in this world.

And so to conclude, back to the original question that started this thought process; what would I change? After thinking long and hard about it, I came to an answer that even I was surprised by. My answer, as much as it pains me to say it, would be nothing. But I wonder... do others think the same as me? The people that I think I know so well, do they see their lives as perfect or have felt that everything up to this point has been completely wrong for them. Perhaps they are in between those two extremes. What about you; where do you stand?