Confusion on Christianity

Halifax, West Yorkshire is a predominantly white area with very few asian people. It’s where my sister and I grew up and spent most of our lives there. We were literally the only asian’s in the village and yet I never resented it, I accepted it and liked living there... a lot. Despite some restrictions, I felt a real sense of belonging within the community. Then just as I about to embark on my Gcse’s, my father decided to move to Bradford, where he had spent most of his life. Suddenly I found myself dropped into the middle of a very big asian community. Where everyone knows everyone else’s business, traditional dress was seen as a must for girls (even at school!) jeans were a no no and if you didn’t join in with the big debates (on religion, politics or how the west was slowly destroying the east) then you were seen as a bit weird.

As a British national, born in the united kingdom yet with an ethnic origin classed as Pakistani (where my parents descended from) I still found it incredibly hard to accept this new community. I didn’t get their mentality (and I still don’t most of time) and didn’t seem to share the same interests as the majority of my classmates. I may have looked the part but my accent was always a giveaway (mine being a broad Yorkshire accent and the rest class having a bradfordian accent).

I’m ashamed to say that I also didn’t know all that much about my religion. I mean I knew the basics but I hadn’t memorised parts of the Quran like some of the other people in my class had. I only ever learnt about Islam during R.E lessons at my school in Halifax and through my parents at special times of the year such as Ramadan. Ironically though I could recite the Lord’s prayer at the drop of a hat and still can. I read the bible during Friday morning assemblies, at my school and knew all the biblical stories, who all the characters were and what the moral of each story was. When going out to meet other family members, I used to like getting dressed up in fancy clothes, watching Bollywood movies and listening to asian music. I didn’t mind the culture, in fact I quite liked it and sometimes craved it as I wasn’t exposed to it as often.

But moving to Bradford and being totally surrounded by that same culture 24/7 felt rather strange. It’s like when I visit my extended family in Pakistan, I feel out of sorts there as well. However a good thing that came out of our move was that I learnt more about my religion, which was great. I mean I‘m not claiming that I know everything about Islam but I feel more comfortable as a muslim and knowing what my religion is about. Also I started University fairly soon after, which was great as it gave me a lot more freedom and I felt much more at ease. In terms of the culture, I eventually got used to it but that doesn’t mean I agree with it. Even now, when having discussions with other people, I still can’t get my head around how other people in the community think and why they say and do the things they do.

Having a dual personality can be a blessing and a curse. I think growing up in here in England, I feel I’m able to fit in better in society. Perhaps better than someone who wasn’t born here and so doesn’t get the english way of life. But then ultimately the colour of my skin will always make me stand out. At the same time, I feel I fit into the desi community as well but then again my natural curiosity, questioning the norm and not willing to accept everything at face value makes me stand out again. I feel a real sense of displacement sometimes. Where do I belong... the asian community or the english community?

One year on...

A whole year since Aisha left and we did all the traditional customs required, not sure what else there is left to do now, except pray for her. All I have is memories to hold onto. They say that time is a healer; so I wonder exactly how much time has to pass before those feelings of sadness start to fade away? If anyone has got any idea, then let me know. Answers on the back of a postcard please...

What do diabetes patients wish you knew?

Diabetes is a disease that affects the normal regulation of glucose in the body and occurs when the body produces very little or no insulin – a hormone that aids the breakdown of glucose. The molecules of glucose are broken down into smaller molecules of glycogen, which can be stored in the liver and can be used if the blood glucose drops again.

Diabetes is a unique disease as it requires the patient to take a lot more responsibility for their own treatment. Therefore in order to be treated successfully it is important that the patient has a good working relationship with their GP. But sometimes that doesn’t always happen. On the other hand, it’s also a good idea to become more educated about your condition and find your own support group that isn’t necessarily linked to your primary healthcare team.

My father actually suffers from diabetes and sometimes his medication doesn’t always agree with him. Therefore I’ve been reading a lot more about ways to naturally control your blood sugar levels as opposed to using medication. There is so much research on the disease – some of the work seems promising whilst some not so much. Sometimes it’s hard to make sense of it all, even if you do study science and so forth. During my search, I came across this blog by Amy Tenderich who is actually a very clued up patient and I found her posts very informative. Perhaps more patients should keep online blogs as sometimes patients may know something useful, that their doctors might not. Just a thought :)